Phone Face, Tech-Neck, TMJ, FROW Frown; the modern way we age. Whatever you want to call it, I suffer from all of the above.
My temper is short, I have headaches and stress levels are high. Physically, my brows are sagging, there are lines on my neck and around my eyes from the long hours spent looking down at my phone or squinting at a screen or keyboard. I now uses 4 different social media platforms not including my emails and the backend of my blog where I type up my posts, my work emails (which is entirely separate), iMovie where I sit for hours and edit my Youtube videos. There is more tension in my face, neck and shoulders combined than the atmosphere between Taylor Swift and Kanye West at the Grammys.
Vanity dictates it’s the signs of ageing on my face that bother me most. When I think about it my facial muscles are the most neglected muscles of my body. Will some hands-on TLC, massage and electrical stimulation neutralise the modern signs of ageing?
3 weeks ago a Face Gym email pings into my inbox me to tell me all about their new services or should I say their Face Camps. I’ve always loved the idea of Face Gym believing that ageing is as much an inside-out process as it is a surface one. Intrigued I click through and so begins my Facial Athletics journey.
Much like the newest chic workout craze, Face Gym is a non invasive facial workout performed by face trainers in a gym studio that looks a little like a salon. There are various treatments to choose from depending on your complaints but most revolve around the Signature Workout: The ultimate natural face lift that uses vigorous knuckling movements and high energy whipping strokes to stimulate blood circulations, collagen production and cell renewal to lift, tone and tighten the face.
Face Camp is a way to fully commit your face to a workout transformation, much like you would when you sign up for a gym membership or a block buy of Pilates classes.
Face Gym have cleverly honed their services into 4 distinct camps: Phone Face, Fat face, Sugar Face, Frow Face and Winter face. Truthfully I can settle into a few of these groups with many symptoms crossing over. I opt for Phone Face, the list of “symptoms” is long and embarrassingly true for my age. Each package will put the user through a series of workouts, treatments and a menu of health freak smoothies and juices. Below is my list of symptoms and plan.
Face Gym is an awe-inspiring thing to experience. Never have I felt so good as when I’m sat in the soft grey reclining chair in the middle of the buzzing beauty hall in Selfridges, London whilst Elizabet Lopez (Lily Allen’s face trainer) whips, pummels, smoothes and lifts my facial muscles and skin to high heaven. Like my iPhone I have trouble “switching off”, I don’t sleep well in my own bed never mind relaxing in the midst of a busy London department store but these ladies took me to a place that can only be described as a type of non-sexual orgasmic bliss. My internal voice was screaming out “Never stop touching meee”.
I can especially vouch for the talents of my 2 trainers Annabel and Elizabet. They are both truly gifted and after each of my 4 x 45 min sessions I have notable results which I was ecstatically documenting on my Snapchat. As if my face was made for artist’s clay she moulded and bevelled me a pair of cheekbones formally lost beneath my chubby cheeks. My brows, which are already hooded and worn permanently in a frown are lifted high and stay this way for 24 hours post work out, like a semi perm face lift. The techniques are anything but random, each workout follows a pre-determined workout pattern targeting every muscle in the face. After a hot towel face cleanse we do a warm up (I say “we”, I’m sat down, eyes closed doing nada) followed by my favourite bit, cardio. The trainer uses very quick repetitive moves on my face which gets the blood flowing. I especially feel it in my cheeks as I get the itchy feeling of blood hitting parts of my skin it normally doesn’t reach (a bit like when you go for a jog and the fatty parts start to itch like mad?). After this the toxins are drained away using lymphatic draining massage.
The Signature Workout also involves use of the a device called a PureLift which uses a technology that emits mild, yet forceful electrical waves to produce painless deep muscle stimulation to restores face and neck skin elasticity and youth. I wish I’d filmed this as the grotesque faces I pulled whilst this was applied must have been nothing short of hysterical. I LOVE PureLift and I am saving up to get one, they aren’t cheap at £349 each but it was this machine that made a crazy noticeable difference in how lifted and toned my face looked post workout, I’m a convert.
2 x Electrical Workouts
In one of my sessions my trainer used a massive machine to do a Hollywood Lift. This had a warm ball on the end which was run over areas of my face that needed lifting and draining of water weight. This was my least favourite part of Face Camp. Not that it hurts but my sensitive skin was quite sensitised after this treatment, almost like a mild sunburn. It did have a plumping effect on areas I would rather not have plumped ie. my cheeks. My face appeared fuller. It did however have an awesome effect on raising my brows and if you follow me on snapchat you would have seen how it disabled my ability to frown for a whole 24 hours, like a sort of semi-perm botox. I would recommend this treatment to 35+ clients or someone who is suffering from lack of facial volume.
I’m not going to lie I barely consumed 40% of the recommended juices that came with the workout plan. Time was an issue here as I couldn’t prepare the 3 daily juices with my schedule. I did however cut out sugar and caffeine which always has a calming effect on my skin.
I find it hard deciding whether Face Camp falls into the treatment or a fitness/cure category, it is most definitely a luxury. The idea that our faces, just like our bodies, need exercise to stay youthful and toned as well as looking their best is a theory that makes complete sense to me. I see results every time I look at the photos from each sessions.
Face Gym is not cheap. The Face Camp packages are a way to make big savings on multiple sessions and see good results, however you do need to continue this practise to maintain results, as unlike surgery, this is not a permanent fix.
I’ve taken away some valuable tips and tricks from my time at Face Camp. Not only did my face look better after each session but my psyche was lifted, I felt lighter, more energised and more positive. I will treat myself now and again to Face Gym as and when the wallet can afford it. It’s also the perfect gift to take a friend or female relative along to.