February has been a shitty month.

Things started off on a positive note in Jan. After posting my first Rebalancing Myself blog I was bolstered by the new year, new ME feelings floating around my social groups, the office and social media. I already had an understanding that this body/mind overhaul was going to be tough, but I didn’t anticipate a flurry of ill health and bad luck that plagued my February.




Yarn Coat & Cowboy boots by Zara, Mom Jeans & Scarf by Topshop, Belt by ASOS.

Stress Levels

You may have caught my blog on Removing Negativity & Toxic People from your life earlier this month? This post was conceived after a toxic person moved out my house and left my life. What should have been a happy occasion, full of relief, actually resulted in a month of stress and anxiety coming to a final climax. When the door was closed and the keys returned to us there was relief, but then all the stress and tension that had built up in the weeks prior to “the big departure”, came crashing down around me. It was nerve wracking. Stress is a killer and in this instance it shot down my immune system machine gun style.

The Plague

With hindsight I can see why it happened, but at the time getting really ill was totally unexpected. Ill to the point where I was convinced at points, through the fever, sweats and hallucinations, that I was a few shades from death. Okay, I’m a massive hypochondriac. This obviously wasn’t the case thanks to the advances made in western medicines. After thrashing around in my bed for two days my reluctance to take medicine caved and I had no choice but to go to the doctors and was prescribed the blessed yet cursed antibiotics.

I had to cancel my valentines day plans and my trip to Las Vegas I was so excited about with my sister. No exercise for two weeks either because energy levels were nil. Three days later the antibiotics kicked in and in recovery mode I had a false sense of feeling like superwoman, hurriedly throwing myself back into my hectic schedule. 

The After Effects of Antibiotics

One week post illness and one day pre fashion week I am waking up with the effects of a hangover every morning. Fuzzy brain, headaches, low energy, joint pain and weirdly my allergies have flared up. Also I’m experiencing these horrendous mood swings which have me avoiding talking to people at work.

I am a massive fan of a little Google self-diagnose and a few quick searches on my symptoms has Google unanimously diagnose me with Candida, an overgrowth of yeast in my stomach, which left untreated can be nasty. This happened to me because I had a hardcore course of antibiotics, coupled with a hectic and stressful 2 weeks whilst shirking my clean/low FOD map eating regime in favour for copious amounts of carbs and champagne.

Fashion Week

LFW is a bittersweet pill for me. In my day job I work in fashion, so between organising show schedules, team line ups, negotiating sponsorships and generally keeping all parties involved and happy, I rarely have a chance to get down to the shows, afterparties and shoot those glam street style shots for the blog. I did manage to make a few parties and shoot some looks, but this season felt like it was all work work work and no fun. By the Elle Style Awards closing party I was exhausted and over it.

Now what…

Today I started the Candida cleanse. I’m drinking water and clear broth for 24 hours and then I’ll be on a diet of non-starchy, steamed vegetables for a few days. Sugar and alcohol are out, as is coffee. *Scratches face and arms like an addict*

I feel a little foolish starting my Rebalancing Myself project on the back of the “New Year, New Me” January hype. They do say never start a diet on a Monday… Detoxing and making major lifestyle changes is tough, especially when you’ve lived your life a certain way for years then realising there’s a definite reluctance to change your ways. Maybe I can’t be the fabled health guru, yogi goddess whilst maintaining my excessive, self indulgent lifestyle? And here I was thinking that they could possibly compliment each other. I’ve arrived back at that tantilizing buzzword: BALANCE.

Maybe I wasn’t ready physically or mentally OR maybe I’ve just had a lotta bad luck. Either way I’m cutting around the dotted lines of Jan and February, scrunching them up and throwing them in the bin.

Hi Square 1, I’m back. Nice to see you again. Now what…

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